Ok, I have to get this off my chest. I really can’t keep quiet anymore. I apologize in advance if this offends anyone, but I do hope it opens up a discussion and makes people think a little different. ( I would put it under a cut, but unfortunately I’m on my phone. )
Recently I’ve seen a lot of really awesome posts focusing on Cissexism and things that Cis people say that is unintentionally hurtful. Most of them are amazing and have definitely changed what I say, but some of them seem to have something that I cannot agree with and that would be, “complaining about your period is Cissexism. “
I can see where this might be coming from as Cis women are the only ones who get their periods, but… well They DO suck and I firmly believe that I have a right to complain about an extremely painful situation my body goes through every month. And not even all Cis women get their periods! Yet I’ve been told time and time again I have no right to be upset about the bleeding, vomiting, dizziness, and other shitty things that come with my period because it’s “unfair” to trans women.
And honestly? It IS unfair, in a way, that so many women can’t have children and I can see where someone complaining about that right might be upsetting, but I think about it this way - if someone complains about a leg cramp or a broken leg no one gets upset, yet not everyone has legs. This is because they understand that person is in pain, even if they’re lucky to have legs.
Now if you tell a trans woman they’re “lucky” for not getting their period THAT is fucked up and Cissexism. But getting upset because you’re in pain shouldn’t be judged in my opinion.
Another thing that bugged me is the idea that I’m not allowed to say that I like the STEREOTYPICAL ( caps because I can’t bold - I am NOT saying that not having these parts doesn’t make you a woman ) “feminine” parts and call myself a lesbian. I think the actual quote was, “saying that you love vaginas and are such a lesbian is Cissexism”. I.. am not sure how to approach this one.
I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to describe things I’m attracted to and choose my sexual identity without being labeled cissexist/transphobic. I DO like vaginas and breasts. Does that mean I wouldn’t date a woman that does not have those? Hell no! I’m attracted to all women! But if I want to go on a rant on how super attracted to vaginas I am and what a huge super lesbian I am that is my prerogative! It’s me describing just one thing I like and should not just be taken as being a transphobic/cissexist cunt.
I want to be supportive and helpful and not offend anyone, but it’s really difficult when my rights to say I’m in pain or speak about my sexual attraction is immediately dismissed as Me being an asshole. Orz
Once again, I’m sorry if this upsets anyone, but I had to get it off my chest.
its more cissexist to say “i hate my period, it sucks to be a girl.” if youre just complaining about your period because your period sucks, tag it because some people become dysphoric at its mention, but no one should critique you for venting about a bodily function
and about the vagina part: it can be cissexist to equate vaginas with women since there are trans men and afab non binary people who have vaginas who do not look “stereotypically female” as well as femme amab with penises you may find attractive